I learned a LOT from 2011. 2011 was definitely the year that thought me the most so far. Here’s a list of 18 valuable lessons, tips, and words of advice I’ve learned from personal experience and the observation of others. Hopefully, some of them help you. 

1. The effort you put into any relationship should be the EQUIVALENT of the effort your fellow participator(s) put(s) into it. Don’t overextend yourself for ANYBODY, for no one is better or WORSE than you. So, if they act like they don’t give a fuck, YOU don’t give a fuck. If they go hard for you, then you go hard for them. Etcetera. It keeps things as simple and worry-free as possible in my opinion.

2. Trust hardly anyone. Even if you LOVE someone doesn’t necessarily mean you should TRUST them - at least not fully. Generally speaking, people are pieces of dog shit, and the one person you think will NEVER do you wrong will take your heart and shatter it into millions of microscopic pieces without a second thought. I speak from experience. Trust. Hardly. Anyone. You WILL be let down if you do not take this advice. I can confidently say there’s less than 10 people on this planet I wholeheartedly trust with every fiber in my being. And yes, I did count. Lol.

3. A woman’s vagina will turn your morals and values upside down. It will have you doing some crazy shit if you’re not careful, so be careful.

4. Always stand up for what you believe in. If a friend/loved one/whatever disagrees with what you believe in so strongly that they choose to stop being your friend, forget them. Your beliefs are part of what makes YOU you, right? If they can’t respect that, they don’t respect/love you. Furthermore, if they AREN’T a friend/loved one/whatever, then why do you care what they think? Are they paying your bills? Making you food? Giving you words of encouragement? No? Then disregard them and stand tall.

5. The people you should never allow to walk behind you(in other words, watch your back) = the selfish, the inconsiderate, the immoral, the shallow(ESPECIALLY if you’re popular), the overly materialistic, the unauthentic(fake) and those who are ambitious WITHOUT a moral backbone to support that ambition. I’m not saying you should necessarily cut these people out of your lives completely - perhaps they’re funny, make good company, have similar tastes in music, are good networking tools, suck great dick, etc - but when shit hits the fan, just know they will NOT ride for you. Be careful. Keep them at arm’s length at all times. They cannot help who they are.

6. The kindness of strangers and old acquaintances is one of the most refreshing and beautiful things in the world. Kinda great/sad how the people you JUST met or reconnected with will sometimes ride harder for you than your supposed friends, huh? So does that mean if you grow closer to these people and they become friends that they’ll…..? Damn! = (

7. Take nothing and no one for granted. Seriously. NOTHING and NO ONE. EVERYTHING is finite, no matter how pleasurable or painful. Oh, and learn from your failures. Failure is only bad when you keep making the same mistake over and over again because you aren’t learning from it. That’s also the definition of insanity. Go figure.

8. Do not overrate the value of family. The people who have your best interests at heart, inspire you, encourage you, teach you, and learn from you are the people that count. If those people happen to be your family, then cool, but please don’t let something as irrelevant as blood relativity cloud your thoughts. Just because Johnny is your cousin doesn’t mean he isn’t a scumbag. If Johnny is a scumbag, stay away from Johnny, okay? Him being Johnny WhateverYourLastNameIs instead of Johnny Cruise doesn’t make it any better or worse for you, bro. 

If that family-bond has imprinted a sense of love between you and your family member that you feel can’t be severed, try your best to at least love them from a DISTANCE. If not, they will hold you back like crabs in a bucket, and perhaps even speak ill of you like a sworn enemy. Cain and Abel were blood brothers - the one of the closest possible genetic bonds. Remember how that relationship ended?

9.Do research on the things you eat and drink. Seriously. Don’t allow yourself to be unknowingly poisoned on a daily basis. No food tastes so good that it can’t be eliminated from your life if need be. Read ingredients and google things you’re iffy about. Oh, the things you’ll learn.

10. You should only try to change someone if your intentions are selfless. In other words, you should only seek to make someone a BETTER PERSON with your advice, suggestions, and ideas. You should not SELFISHLY try to turn someone into YOUR perfect boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, mother, son, daughter, whatever. Guess what? There’s no such thing as a perfect match for you. We are human beings, not blemishes you can alter/edit with Photoshop until we’re exactly how you want us to be.

Michael doesn’t like to listen to rap music? Then let Michael listen to what he wants to fucking listen to. Is listening to rap going to make Michael a better person? As long as his dislike for the genre isn’t rooted in racial or cultural hatred/ignorance, then the answer is no, and you should leave him be. On the other hand, if Michael makes fun of homeless people, you should probably pull Michael aside and inform him of why that isn’t the right way to go about things. That is selfless advisement, because that will help him become a better person in the long run and isn’t based on a selfish desire, but rather a helpful/friendly suggestion. There ‘s a thin line that separates selfISH advice from selfLESS advice. Know that line well, especially if you’re the type that likes to give advice.

11. Speak up/take action when it’s necessary. Your friend’s been doing something that’s pissed you off for a while? SPEAK UP ON IT. Don’t like the tone your boss uses to talk to you? LET THAT NIGGA KNOW WHAT IT IS. Your cute, adorable, princess of a daughter says something rude to your house guest? Slap her upside the fucking head! Shy away from no one and allow NO disrespect from family, friends, loved ones, etc(strangers mean nothing, so don’t worry about if they disrespect you as long as they don’t put their hands on you) to go unchecked. I don’t care how much you love or respect them. As I said in tip #1, that love and respect needs to be MUTUAL or it is EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY. There should be no proverbial footprints on any of your clothes, bro. 

12. Never let familiarity and habit deceive you into thinking not being as happy as you can possibly be is acceptable. You might need to travel very far away - physically, mentally, spiritually, and/or emotionally - to achieve that happiness. Don’t let fear, laziness, or complacency stunt your growth. Never shy away from an opportunity that you know deep down inside will make you better- no matter how difficult or daunting it might be. If it’s possible and feasible…do it.

13. Pride is one of the most foolish emotions to grasp too tightly. It’s a very ugly, erratic, and DANGEROUS emotion to posses. Discard it, or at least subdue it. You need help? Ask. You love someone? Show it. Someone hurt your feelings? Tell them. Someone apologizes? Accept it. You fucked up? Own up to it. Someone who used to love you doesn’t seem to care anymore? Move on. 

14. Want to know if someone is really for you or not? Here’s a surefire way to find out. Tell them about your dreams, problems, goals, and aspirations, and then gauge their interest. Pay close attention to their willingness to help you, encourage you, inspire you, advise you, etc. Whether you want to accept this oftentimes ugly truth or not, I PROMISE you that your answer to that question is hidden within their reaction. This is how you separate the TRUE friends from the fake ones and the pleasant acquaintances. I can say with confidence that I know EXACTLY who my true friends are. Can YOU? O_o? O_o? 

15. Take accountability for your fuck ups. There is nothing more annoying than someone who cannot acknowledge when they did something wrong - one who puts the blame on others before themselves when - in reality - it belongs on their own shoulders. I really despise that personality trait. Owning up to your mistakes is a sign of maturity. It’s a very admirable trait. See tip #13 if this is difficult for you to do.

16. Never shy away from expressing your love for someone. Even if you’ve stated it in the past, say it again. There are very few things more precious than someone you care about reaffirming their love for you. It’s a warm and wonderful feeling. Again, if this is a problem for you, look over tip #13 again. 

17. There’s thousands of ways to express a single thought, so construct your words wisely. It’s not WHAT you say that matters - it is HOW you say it. Do not mistake being “real” for being a “bitch/asshole”. Being honest does not mean you need to disregard the effects of your words. People have feelings, and you should be mindful of how your words can impact them. There’s a thousand ways you can tell Tanya that her fashion sense needs work. One method could hurt her feelings to the point of tears, while another method of saying it could inspire her to improve her wardrobe with an upbeat and optimistic outlook. Your words have GREAT power. NEVER forget that. CONSIDERATION is key. 

18. I do not believe in calling someone ugly. It is a cruel adjective that I shy away from for the sole reason that one cannot help how they look(generally speaking - disregard clothes, weight, etc) If it were up to us, we would ALL be beautiful. Do not make fun of the physically unattractive or the mentally/physically disabled. It just isn’t cool. You’re one freak accident away from that being YOU. Be thankful for your blessings, and considerate of the less fortunate.

Those are the 18 things I’ve learned from 2011. There’s at least one perfect example that I’ve experienced that backs up each, so trust me when I say these words of advice are not coming from my ass. Just trying to help, so I really hope at least some of these give ya’ll a different perspective on things. One New Years resolution I have that i don’t mind sharing is to go as hard as possible and to take no days off. Pray for me, believers. I don’t believe in luck, so save those wishes for the fountain at your local mall. Lol.